Mastering the art of influencing someone in a position of authority is a skill, but when mastered, it can be incredibly powerful. In the fall, we shared tips for influencing someone when you’re not in a position of authority, whether it’s at home or at work. Now let’s dive deeper into how you can powerfully persuade by matching your communication style to the other individual’s personality.
I’ve coached staff and executives in higher education, nonprofits and corporations. No matter what industry they work in, everyone falls into distinct personalities. Each personality has different communication preferences. It’s not about changing who you are, it’s about aligning your approach to their style. By doing this, you not only create a more productive dialogue but also build stronger relationships, which is key to building lasting influence. Read on for a breakdown of identifying the four distinct personality groups and how best to communicate with each.
Tailor Your Message to the Audience
Not all conversations are created equal, and neither are the people you’re speaking to. Tailoring your message to your audience can be a game-changer. For instance, imagine you’re talking to a no-nonsense, get-to-the-point VP of Finance. This person most likely appreciates directness, preferring you to cut through the fluff and get to the heart of the matter.
In contrast, a VP of Administration who’s more analytical and skeptical might need you to send supporting documents in advance, giving them the chance to answer questions in great detail.
Building Strong Relationships for Lasting Influence
Relationships are at the heart of influence. Establishing common ground and actively listening are essential components of building a genuine relationship. In addition to listening to their words, pay attention to nonverbal cues and the emotions of the person you’re speaking with. Showing empathy and sharing something about yourself can also help build rapport.
As we mentioned, an incredibly effective way to communicate powerfully is by tuning into the person’s DiSC communication styles, a tool I often use as a certified DiSC trainer. DiSC helps you understand how to adapt your communication style based on whether someone is more outgoing or reserved, task-focused or socially focused.
Here’s a quick overview of the four primary DiSC personality types. I’ve also created a tip sheet to use as a guide during your next conversation.
- S Style (Supportive): These individuals are often reserved and people focused. Show warmth and concern for their feelings and don’t rush them for decisions. Building trust is key here.
- C Style (Conscientious): Analytical and task-focused, these individuals, like that aforementioned VP of Finance, will want data and details. Come prepared with facts and be ready for skepticism.
- I Style (Influential): Outgoing and socially focused, these people respond well to stories and connection. Allow for small talk and keep the conversation engaging.
- D Style (Dominant): Task-focused and outgoing, this type values efficiency. Be direct and concise. Talk in terms of results and outcomes.
Putting it in Perspective
Influencing without authority is an art that requires preparation, emotional intelligence, and strategic communication. It’s about being intentional in your approach, building genuine relationships, and tailoring your message to fit the audience. By mastering these skills, you can make a significant impact—even without formal power.
Whether you’re trying to engage a busy VP or collaborate with a colleague, influence is about making others feel like partners in the process and helping them see the benefits of working together. And remember to download this quick tip sheet to help you the next time you find yourself in a conversation with someone where you don’t necessarily have the upper hand. We can’t wait to hear what a difference this makes during your next conversation!
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